Young Adults / College · aligned to Non-denominational
In Secret: Prayer, Fasting, and Giving That Isn't for Show
God sees what no audience ever will—so we're free to pray, give, and fast for an Audience of One instead of performing for people.
How this lesson was made
DiviNav AI drafted this lesson (Young Adults / College, aligned to the Non-denominational statement of faith), then an automatic review checked it for Scripture accuracy, theology, sensitive content, and originality. No pastor has read it line by line, so treat it as a starting point: read it all the way through and adapt it to your group before you teach.
Lesson plan
Gather the group and name the tension up front: we live in a season of curated feeds, personal brands, and resumes—where being seen is practically the point of everything. Ask: what does it do to your soul when almost everything you do can be posted, tracked, or 'read' by others? Tonight we're looking at three practices Jesus assumes His followers will actually do—giving, praying, fasting—and the surprising thing He says about all three: do them in secret. Keep it warm and low-pressure; this is an invitation, not a performance review. Mention that some here grew up in church and some didn't—both are welcome, and skepticism is allowed at this table.
Read the passage aloud—ideally have two or three volunteers split it (vv. 1-4 giving, vv. 5-15 praying, including the Lord's Prayer, vv. 16-18 fasting). Encourage everyone to listen for the repeated phrase. Then point it out: three times Jesus names a reward from 'your Father, who sees what is done in secret.' Note the structure—same pattern each time: don't be like the hypocrites, do it quietly, God sees. Don't teach yet; just let the repetition land.
Make four moves. (1) 'Hypocrite' was a theater word—literally an actor wearing a mask. Jesus isn't against giving, praying, or fasting; He's against doing spiritual things as a performance for human applause. The danger isn't that these practices are bad—it's that they're so good they're tempting to weaponize for image. (2) 'They already have their full reward.' Applause is a real payment—but it's the whole paycheck. Public praise is a currency that always runs out. Jesus offers something that doesn't. (3) 'Your Father who sees in secret.' The engine here isn't guilt about showing off; it's intimacy with a Father who already sees you fully and loves you. For a generation exhausted by being watched and measured, this is good news: there's Someone whose approval you can't manufacture and can't lose. (4) Apply to their season: the hidden prayer no one knows you pray; the money you give that never gets announced; the small sacrifices made for a roommate, a sibling, a dating relationship—God sees it all. Briefly and simply explain Lent if anyone asks: a centuries-old optional season many Christians use to simplify and refocus before Easter—not a rule, not required, just one tool among many. Then introduce fasting honestly: it's not a hunger strike to twist God's arm; it's trading a comfort for a season to create space for Him. Clearly say: fasting from food is not for everyone—anyone with diabetes, an eating disorder history, who is pregnant, or who has a medical condition should not fast from food without a doctor, and there are good non-food fasts (social media, streaming, shopping, gaming). Land the plane on the big idea: we're free to live for an Audience of One.
Break into smaller clusters of 3-4 if the group is on the larger side so everyone talks, then regather for the last two questions. Use the discussion questions below, and say up front that anyone can pass on any question. The goal is honesty, not right answers—especially around money, image, and doubt. If someone shares something heavy, thank them and don't rush to fix it.
Hand out index cards and pens. Invite each person to quietly design ONE hidden practice to try this week—choose a lane: a hidden gift (give to someone or a cause with zero announcement), a hidden prayer rhythm (five minutes, door shut, phone in another room), or a non-food fast (a day off a specific app or habit, redirecting that time to God). Have them write it on the card—for their eyes only, not to share with the group (the irony of reporting back on a secret practice is the point). Then, in pairs, invite partners only to agree to a simple check-in text next week that says nothing about what they did, just 'still going?'—accountability without an audience. Note the opt-out: no one has to fast from food, and the non-food options are fully valid. Close the activity by having them put the card somewhere they'll see it (phone case, wallet, mirror).
Gather back together. Pray a short prayer thanking God that He sees in secret and loves us there—that we don't have to perform for Him or anyone. Invite (don't require) a moment of silent prayer where each person brings their card's practice to God privately. Send them out with Matthew 6:6—'your Father, who is unseen... will reward you.' Remind them the leader is available afterward if anyone wants to talk.
Discussion questions
- warmupWhere in your life do you feel the most 'watched' or pressured to perform—school, work, social media, church, family? What does that pressure feel like?
- warmupJesus assumes His followers give, pray, and fast—yet many of us feel awkward about all three. Which one feels most foreign to you, and why?
- digJesus says the hypocrites 'already have their full reward.' What's the difference between wanting to be seen and being okay with being unseen? Why might applause be a reward that leaves us empty?
- digThe motivation Jesus gives isn't guilt—it's a Father 'who sees what is done in secret.' How does your picture of God change this whole passage? If you're honest, do you imagine God watching you with disappointment, indifference, or delight?
- digBe honest about the doubts: does secret prayer and giving actually 'work,' or does it just feel like talking to the ceiling? How do you hold faith and skepticism together here?
- applyWhat is one hidden practice—giving, prayer, or a non-food fast—you could realistically try this week, given your actual schedule and life? What would get in the way?
- applyWho in your world could you quietly bless this week with zero credit and no post about it? What would that cost you—and what might it free in you?
Scripture
Matthew 6:1 (BSB) — “Be careful not to perform your righteous acts before men to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.
Matthew 6:2 (BSB) — So when you give to the needy, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. Truly I tell you, they already have their full reward.
Matthew 6:3-4 (BSB) — But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Matthew 6:5 (BSB) — And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. Truly I tell you, they already have their full reward.
Matthew 6:6 (BSB) — But when you pray, go into your inner room, shut your door, and pray to your Father, who is unseen. And your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Matthew 6:7-8 (BSB) — And when you pray, do not babble on like pagans, for they think that by their many words they will be heard. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.
Matthew 6:16 (BSB) — When you fast, do not be somber like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they already have their full reward.
Matthew 6:17-18 (BSB) — But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that your fasting will not be obvious to men, but only to your Father, who is unseen. And your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Leader notes
Prep checklist
- Read Matthew 6:1-18 a few times this week and pray through your own 'hidden' practice first—you'll teach this far better from experience than from notes.
- Line up two or three volunteers ahead of time to read the passage sections aloud.
- Decide in advance how you'll split into discussion clusters if more than ~10 people show up.
- Be ready to explain Lent in one or two sentences as optional, not required—don't assume the church observes it.
- Running short on time? Compress the opening framing to a single question and trim the discussion to the two 'dig' questions about applause/reward and the Father who sees, plus one 'apply' question—keep the activity and the safety/fasting cautions intact.
- Fasting safety is non-negotiable to state plainly: anyone with diabetes, a history of or current eating disorder, who is pregnant, or who has any medical condition should NOT fast from food without a doctor's guidance—always offer the non-food options as fully valid, and keep this for teens and adults only (no food-fasting challenge for children).
- If anyone discloses acute distress—suicidal thoughts, self-harm, an eating disorder, or any mental-health crisis—respond with care and point them to real help: the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988, available 24/7), and for immediate danger call 911. For eating-disorder support, the Alliance for Eating Disorders helpline is 1-866-662-1235. Encourage professional help, and never present prayer or fasting as a substitute for medical or emergency care.
- Have your own contact info ready to offer to anyone who wants to talk privately after the session.
Materials
- Bibles or printed copies of Matthew 6:1-18 in the BSB
- Index cards (one per person)
- Pens or pencils
- Optional: a whiteboard or paper to note the repeated phrase 'your Father who sees in secret'
- A printed copy of this plan for yourself
This took DiviNav about a minute. Make one for your church:
Try it free — no card